Oh dear

So not ready for the birds and bees talk on the way home from the library at 5 pm

Question from Jake : to make a baby do you stick the penis in the belly button?

Oh no really?! Now? It's 0 degrees and I can't feel my fingers and I'm trying to not slip and slide home in the car and you want to ask me questions about sex?! Do I even use that word? We just had problems with jake explaining juvenile jails to a kid. Ack. Now sex.

Haley: no be honest with us you are honest with us right how are babies made

Wow she has that guilt down and that girl is smart. I can't lie to these kids they are too smart

Let's start off with the egg and sperm and then discuss fertilization. Oh you want more detail and body parts. Really? Well you get your period and start ovulating and making eggs. No not like chickens. Each animals have diff eggs. Oh my god am I really explaining this now... As my hands go up to show how small eggs and sperm are...I'm scarred and I'm scarring my kids. You will need this for therapy ammo.

More discussion about eggs and sperm. Now more about where the penis goes. Please help please! Make it stop.

Luckily they are grossed out. And jake responds....you did that twice?! For us. In very disgusted voice.

Now this is getting even more comical. Yes we did that twice and waited until we knew we were ready for you guys and responsible and loved each other.

Please make it stop. Please make them stop asking the questions. I know if I stopped they would know I'm uncomfortable and they would use it later and ... Well you know if I don't answer them now I could pay for it later and if I answer them now I can pay for it later. Lose lose or win win?

So we talked about why it's called private and private parts. And I'm glad they asked good questions and felt comfortable to talk to me and that I will always be honest with them. I have a book if they want to read they said ew no mom. We are done.

Good I did my job. Whew. I hope that's enough for now. Yikes.