A year ago

Over a year ago we found out we were pregnant. We were super excited. It wasn't planned it happened and I couldn't have been happier. I love our kids and I love being a mom. I felt like this is it our family could be complete now. Well after 9 weeks a year ago from tomorrow I went in for a procedure because there was no longer a heartbeat :( I was sad. Did we not want this baby bad enough did I not take the right vitamins. Etc. We could have a four month old baby now. They could be sleeping thru the night now. Eating solids soon. Growing bigger. But I have this emptiness. I wanted this. I wanted a family of five. It was a sad loss. It's been a hard year. I've enjoyed time
With my kids more. I've tried
Harder to be a better mom. I've held those laughter noises and tickles and cuddles as long as I could. I've held onto the good moments. We've had a great year as a family
Even tho I've been sad and sick. They've been great. They've helped me. They've taught me to laugh. Smile. Be kind to others. My little role models.