going nuts

i try to not talk too much about haley and jake's allergies, but they are a huge part of our every day lives. and i have to think about them a lot more than i thought i'd have to...the kids are great about them. haley is really starting to understand that she needs to ask before she eats anything. at every door she went trick or treating to she said 'read the labels i can't eat nuts or eggs' and i kept having to tell her that we would go through at the end that she didn't need to tell them. they didn't like going door to door much because we tell them 1 - to not take food from strangers and 2 - to be careful with their allergies.

so recently i had to learn how to be the advocate for my children and their allergies. in the three years we've been part of our temple we have never had a problem. they have signed our allergy action plan and taken the epi-pens. they have been great about snacks and careful with haley's allergies of eggs and nuts. they have even gone above and beyond as to making challah without eggs.

but this last month we have had two nut incidences. both with one teacher. to make a long story short. the first incident the teacher asked if she could have a personal snack of almonds. i told her we'd appreciate if she didn't eat in the 2.5 hrs she had our daughter since it is life threatening to her. and she got upset. we ask for no nuts in their classrooms. and then three weeks later i walk in to drop haley off and see a big bowl of mixed nuts on their table. i asked what was that. they responded a bowl of nuts for a counting and sorting project. i said i thought we agreed no nuts and please remove it from the class. that's when i realized they did not understand the no nuts in classroom policy and it needed to become a real written policy.

after a lot of talking and tears we worked out a policy...a lot of drama later and some upsetting conversations that seemed unnecessary...we are still working on making the policy final and getting an understanding of no nuts in the classroom for the safety of my children.

they are 2 and 4 and they are starting to learn better, but they still put their hands in their mouths, etc...we go to restaurants, we go to the circus, we fly southwest...we are careful...but we are with them. i want to trust that the people who are watching our kids have their best interests in mind...and want them to be safe.

this has been hard to learn about our community and our temple. i've had very supportive friends, but the staff has not been as supportive and being so involved in the temple growing up and part of my life - it's hard to not have the support. how hard is it to have no nuts?!

the greatest mitzvah is to save a life. do us a favor and just don't have nuts around my kids.

luckily jake and haley are unaware of what is going on and are just happy free spirits and that's what i want.

i want to continue being part of the temple and i hope that they are taking this seriously. being on executive board, temple board and preschool board has helped a little.

it's hard to not feel like a crazy hover 'helicopter' parent. i have had some comments like that, but i have to remember this is for their safety - this is not just for special attention just for them...this is serious. i try to be laid back and cool about other things and maybe i've been too nonchalant about this in the past, but i'm learning. i'm learning to stand up for them and i'm trying to do it the right way. it could have been a lot uglier situation than it was, but we were calm. but were we too calm?